As an accomplished life and business coach, James is an expert on leadership and helping others obtain what they truly desire. However, he often finds that people confuse their desires with dissatisfaction.
To help clear the murky waters, we’re here to discuss the difference between dissatisfaction and desire.
For starters, James would like to address the fact that some of life’s hardest skills to learn such as gratitude or similar emotional states are often considered “soft skills,” but he cautions that this couldn’t be further from the truth.
Lacking gratitude is to be dissatisfied. When you’re dissatisfied there are two things in play. First, you’re focused on what’s either bad, wrong, or not there at all. Secondly, you’re hindering yourself from the gifts life and God have given you.
A simple example of this is when you give someone a gift. If they express great gratitude, you’ll likely want to keep giving. If they complain or seem dissatisfied, you probably won’t be prone to gifting them again.
Richard Spanton Jr. explains that dissatisfaction puts you in a place where you feel limited, impatient, and believing you lack what you truly need. None of which are empowering states for creativity and resourcefulness. Leaders always want more in life, yet a true leader knows the difference between desire and being dissatisfied.
James Ray explains that true leaders are constantly searching for personal growth but at the same time they realize that they must remain grateful for what they’ve been given.
Leaders are able to maintain their desire while never being dissatisfied.
There is a certain optimistic viewpoint that leaders take on. Angela Duckworth’s research on grit proves this to be a critical factor in long-term success. Along with Carol Dweck, Martin Seligman and others. Wherever they currently reside, whatever they have, leaders are able to appreciate it and realize they could have less and things could always be much worse.
Still not convinced about the power of gratitude after this information from James Ray? Well, how about the evidence produced by neuroscience. Recent studies in neuroscience have proved that practicing gratitude regularly can actually change the structure of your brain through neuroplasticity.
In leaders, with gratitude comes a healthy desire. Desire is our mind compelling us to become the very best version of ourselves. But James Ray warns those that he coaches in life and business that understanding the difference between fantasy, a wish, and true desire is very important.
According to James Ray, “Leaders can, and must, desire to constantly expand, experience and express more fully, but they absolutely cannot be dissatisfied with what currently exists.”